Published in CT School Psychologist

View from a Retired School Psychologist (reprint from CT School PSychologst)
I often wondered how parents could be so stubborn. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t appreciate all that the schools were doing for their child. I expected to be garnished with praise for my careful testing and reporting. I wondered why they didn’t applaud when I spoke at PPTs.
Not only was I a Ph.D. but a mother and grandmother. Surely I knew what was best. Our team was comprised of educators who had studied how to educate the perfect child. We saw their child as he or she related to others of the same grade or age. We knew best.
After retirement three years ago, my ego seemed to retreat as did my short term memory. I began to understand the reason for the snafu’s. Their child was not our child. Our agenda was to educate, parents agenda is to protect. It didn’t matter who was right. It mattered that we were all on the same team.
Parents have a most important input. They know their child in the non school environment. They need to show us that their child’s behavior problem was not a genetic factor and that their learning problem did not come form their side of the family.
When we highlight the strengths of the child, the abilities first, we help parents see that we might know their child at least a little. It is necessary for the team to accept the definition of insanity; that is doing the same thing, the same way, over and over, and expecting different results. The team needs to agree on the goal and the responsibilities of each team member; most of all- the child. Parents want the school to take responsibility; schools want the parents to agree to their part. What is often overlooked is what the child’s part is in his or her learning experience.
Only when the attitude of respect and cooperation is achieved by all parties, will there be any change in the learning behaviors.
Carolyn R. Falk, Ph.D. (Vol. 13, # 2 , 2007)